Don't Remember for the Momentary Bliss

The last time I cut, it was a beautiful thing... I finally found something that glided ever so perfectly against my skin, slitting it open so little beads of red could slip out... It's all I can think about tonight as I lie in bed, half out of the covers as spring is slowly turning to summer and nights are warmer. I smile as I remember my mind clearing in that moment to focus on what my hand was doing. I don't remember the pain. I block that out. It felt so beautiful in that moment... Stress and worry laid aside and for a brief moment my mind was blank. And then... Chaos. Another slit. And another. And another. Momentary bliss as blood seeped from my cuts. Don't remember the pain; only the beauty of momentary bliss. Don't remember... I remind myself, As I reach again for that perfect blade.