These Nights

These nights are the ones we won't remember.
These calm nights where we spend all our time studying
These nights where we all fight over what genre of music to play.
These long nights where it seems we won't get sleep.
These nights where we can't stop laughing at who knows what.
These beautiful nights that seem so important now,
These are the nights that will fade into oblivion.

Human Instinct

 They tell me 

That human instinct

Is self-preservation.

So why do I feel

 That every impulse

Is telling me to die?

Every second awake

Is a fight between 

Body and mind.

My body wanting to die

And my mind struggling

For a desire to survive.

Nightmares

        My flesh is on fire.
And my lungs are desperate.
        My family is killed,
                             One by one,
While I stand and watch.
        The ground rumbles
And my friends are swallowed
                            Into the belly of the earth.
        Spiders crawl out of every crevice.
Someone is hunting me down.
        And I'm on my death bed; lying
                            All by myself.
But, I think, what I'm most afraid of
        Is that I will give up on
Struggling to survive. And one day
                            I'll take my life.

Death

What happens after I die?
       Is it just a black nothing?
       Will I go to Heaven?
       Or will I be damned to Hell?
       Will I feel anything at all?
       Or does everything just end?
I wish I had answers...
Perhaps I'll find out soon.

Trust

I don't know how people expect me to trust.
Lies have been my life.
My dad, my friends, my peers.
Lies have been all I hear.
And now you're asking me to trust you.
To open up and let you in.
That's the equivalent of me blowing a bubble
And asking you not to let it pop.

Silence

When I was younger
I longed for silence.
The noise of my siblings,
Drove me to anger and frustration.
When I was with him
I begged for his silence.
For whenever he was silent
He was not accusing me.
But now, I long for the noise.
I long to hear my siblings.
I beg to hear his accusations.
If only I didn't have to sit in this silence
Listening to the screams
Within my own mind.

Falling

After all this time, you'd think I'd learn.
I should know that my hopes for us will always crash and burn.
You always hurt me and let me down
And yet, I'm still falling: just about to drown.

The Reaper

He's coming for me:
His scepter-like hook,
Shiny and sharp,
Erect in his hand.
His dark clothes
Draped loosely on him.
Closer.
I can hear his footsteps.
His breath is heavy,
Desiring me.
Closer.
I can feel his presence
Standing behind me,
He licks his lips.
He won't stop
Until he gets me.
"It's almost time."
The words escape
His cold, sealed mouth.
He wants me dead;
My blood on my own hands.