My Love

Oh that my love does see me shine,

When I speak of His great love divine!

No man will ever pluck me from His hands,

Even after I die. 

My Love loves more than any man could;

And He performs all good things for me.

No greater love than this for sure;

He laid down his life to save my soul!

Goodnight

The darkness which has been surrounding me for so long

Begs to take me under;

To suffocate me with all the pains of my past. 

The guilt with which I remember them all 

Is the driving force for all my hatred.

And the darkness feeds on hate.

Therefore I can keep it at bay no longer.

I never realized how much I crave the light

Until I can no longer see it.

Goodnight my painful life. 

Not Just A Fairytale

I have fallen in love just as quickly as I dreamed I never would. The pure idea of love scares me more than anything in the world and I swore to loathe it for eternity. Yet, here I am, breaking into pieces from the very love I hate.

All my life I’ve read stories of those people who love at first sight, giving up their entire lives and all their hopes and dreams for someone else all in the name of “love.” It was such a fairytale, such a fantasy that one could only believe it was something of stories. True, pure, love is unattainable and a fallacy; no more true than Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. Love does not and cannot exist; especially love at first glance. For how could one know someone’s heart so quickly? Surely they cannot. You cannot know one’s heart by looking in their eyes, you cannot know their soul by one touch.

But here I am. The epitome of all I hate. My heart has not resumed a regular pattern since I first saw his eyes. And since his first touch my stomach has been a flight with butterflies. “I’ve only just met him!” I declare to myself. My head aching for my heart to listen, but my heart takes no notice. It pants, it longs, it loves. Against all wishes, it loves. It loves the boy with dark chocolate eyes and tan skin and beautiful brown hair. It loves the family, so easily accepting of the outsider.

My soul is torn between my head and my heart. “It cannot exist! You mustn't let yourself believe!” My head screams. “Just once trust that something good can happen! Love cannot just be of myth!” My heart yells in return. All the while my body is in constant sickness with something that has never been felt before. I only wish to scream to the world:

I love him!

I Saw You

I saw you.

I saw how you laughed

(even if something wasn't funny)

I saw how you teased

(it was how you said 'I love you')

I saw how you gave and gave

(and never asked to receive)

I saw you fall in love

(with someone other than myself)

I saw you, but you never saw me.

I Just Want to Scream

Black and white,

everything must be.

Talk like this,

look like that.

No acceptance

for difference. 

Be a size zero.

Have hair that flows. 

Mold yourself!

No personality,

no character. 

Or, be surrounded by laughter.

Media controls us.

Movies show us what love is.

Magazines tell us to starve. 

Family tells us to be ourselves. 

But celebrities show us how to conform.

How long will it take before we scream:

NO MORE!