Last Day

Today's the day, I'm
Giving into temptations again.
My heart is heavy.
I've been telling myself that
I have to feel something.
Why do I see hearts everywhere?
Does this mean I'm in love?
I've never known love..
And I don't think 
I want to feel it at all.
But am I obligated to feel? No.
They tell me I'm in love.
When did I grow fonder?
I really wish I hadn't.
So now I'll finish it. 
Tonight's the night, I'm
Overcoming temptation right now.
Please don't come back. 
I don't want to love you. 
Now I don't see hearts everywhere.
And you're just a memory. 
Maybe I was making myself 
Believe that if one thing
Goes right it means love.
Someday I'll believe in it. 
But today, it will be
My last day of you. 

Soulmate

We met once, he and I.

His smile was heaven

And his eyes were home. 

He walked away though, and love
Was stripped from us, as he left.

He's living in my subconscious,

Maybe even further away. 

And sometimes I can hear

Something calling me; I'm

Here! Where are you?

He's the one measly smile 

In the midst of all the frowns.

And he gets better and better.

But where can I find him again?

Can't I be happy where I'm at?

I don't need anything, that way I

Don't have to worry about finding it.

And I don't know what I did

To feel about a stranger the way I do.
Come back, so we can know love.

Light Comes

Another day dawns
I'm still locked in this hole.
My chains grow heavier
Each and every day.
And the sun forgets to shine.
But, wait!
What is this light emanating
through the cracks?
The door in front of me
Is finally opening!
And the light radiates
From the man who enters.
The chains on the windows
are broken, the light
encompasses every space.
And yet, I feel no warmth.
"Lift your chains," He smiles,
"For only I can set you free."

Words I Can't Say

I can't do this anymore

If you're not honest with me.

I love you.
I hate you. I don't need you.
Please don't leave me.
Just go away! Leave me alone.
You're my only friend.
I'll be completely fine without you.
I'll cry if you go.
I'll never cry, because I'm not hurt.
Please, never leave!
Whatever. Goodbye.

I don't know how you expect me to say

All the things in my mind.

All the things that I've never told anyone

Starting with I love you.

Feelings

Maybe if I don't say it out loud,
It won't be true.
Because I'm just not that sure
How I feel about you.

Your smile tends to brighten
My entire day.
You make me laugh out loud
With things you say.

But I'm really not liking this
They way I feel
Because I've been hurt before
And it's all too real.

Please, I don't want to like you.
Stop being a flirt
I don't want these feelings
They make me feel like dirt.

Chains

Everything is black.
These chains are heavy.
I open my eyes,
But I see nothing.
My cries fill the silence.
How long have I been here?
I close my eyes again
And my shame fills me.
My past does not leave!
I am worthless.
I am nothing but dirt.
I long to be rescued.
I reach for the door,
But my chains restrict me.
My legs give out;
I fall. My face hits the ground.
You are my last resort;
When my strength is gone.
Please, Lord, save me!